And the Journey Begins

So, it was and ordinary Friday evening this past January. January 16th to be exact. Dinner was done, Craig and Liv were getting ready for RU, Mason was playing with his cars and I was eagerly awaiting the "dish fairy" to come and clean up the dinner mess in my kitchen. While waiting, I hopped on line to de-clutter the overflowing inbox. Yet another mass mailing of "waiting kids" came from Rainbowkids com. Ugh. Really, honestly, I was tired of getting them. Craig had just had a pay decrease, layoffs were a'commin and our two cars? We know one will likely have to be replaced this year and the other needs work. So, this is NOT the time to pursue adoption.

I went in to unsubscribe...again. I just followed the link to the child to get logged on. Well, and then life changed. I saw him. It was definitely him. There, on the screen, posed in a background of my favorite blue, was our son. I Couldn't have been more sure if I had given birth to him myself. He looked very alone and hollow. He was looking for us. Over the years, we had seen scores of lists of waiting kids. We resigned to wait on the Lord...who makes no mistakes. After I caught my breath, I asked Craig to take a look. (Maybe subconsciously thinking he'd know Evan was our son too?! No, it was more likely the dish fairy was going to show up after all.) So Craig looked, and said something like: "that's nice. Wish we could adopt." I asked if I could get the file, he said sure, but "we are not adopting". Hey, I was glad he just said OK. That's step 1.

I called the agency, and his papers were still in Chinese. I didn't care. I wanted them, so after filing out the pre-application for AAC, I received them, on the next Monday. Perhaps it was wishful thinking that when I received them, they'd be in English...didn't matter, I just knew I had to get them.

Craig said NO. So I started to pray. And pray. And, truly, I don't want ever want to be on a different page as my husband so I put it out of my mind. Though....Evan never strayed. I sought counsel from a wise and godly friend and approached it again with Craig. By now, it was the middle of February. He said it was OK to call and see if Evan was still available and to get his papers. I did. And, that started the ball rolling. I finally confessed to Craig, I knew this was our son. Couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew. All I can say is I have a fantastic husband. He knew I wouldn't have approached him, unless I was sure. So, we talked. We sought counsel and we prayed and I fasted. After about two weeks of all of this he came home one Monday from work, and said he just really didn't feel it was what God had for us. OK. It's not my place to argue. I have yet to see Craig EVER make a decision contrary to what is absolutely right for our family, and I know he won't now. I also trust that if he is wrong, God will show him otherwise. So, I broke my fast, it was over.

Until Tuesday, that is! Craig is doing a study on the fruit of the spirit, Love. He comes home Tuesday evening, as I'm whipping up another culinary masterpiece (not) and asks "what do you think it means when the Bible says, If you have done it unto the least of these, you have done it unto me?" I chuckled. Had too. It was funny. I told him my opinion was a bit skewed and he might not want it..still chuckling. Knowing full well, my opinion was not off, he said he felt that the Lord wanted us to adopt Evan. WOW.

I was stunned. I asked if he was serious...(duh, why wouldn't he be?) and he said that through this study on love, he felt the Lord asking him to step out in faith and follow His direction. Hey, OK! Who am I to argue with that?! I asked him if he was sure...he said absolutely, so we called AAC and placed Evan "on hold". That was March 10th, 2009