Perhaps it's because if we really look into ourselves, we all are special needs in some way or another? Perhaps it's because my athletic (dis)abilities left me as the reject in gym class? Maybe that's why I always had the desire to care for those who are not the first to be chosen...the underdogs! Only God knows, that's for sure!
Childhood scars from gym class can run deep. But some scars are good, as they are reminders to have the courage to change, to keep on keepin' on, and remember what not to do again. :0)
As we looked over numerous special need information sheets, learned about them, and essentially had to pick and choose what we wanted and didn't, it was tough. I praise the Lord for his goodness in that we never had to complete a form, as He chose our child for us.
I think the thought of "special needs" carries a certain weight of uncertainty in any parent. There will always be the "what if's" in life.
"What if I can't handle the need?"
"What if there is something else wrong with him/her?"
"What if it's not correctable and he/she is retarded, never marries, etc?"
I've thought about all of these. When we saw "Forest" for the first time, I knew he was my son.
From this picture, I couldn't tell if he even had arms, legs, etc, but figured he probably did. I didn't know what his need was, but the Lord very clearly impressed upon my heart that he was ours. That was scary because I didn't know anything about this child. We had asked the Lord to give us a child when His time was right. He knew who would 'fit' into our family better than we, so we left it up to Him. I admit that it was scary!!
We know that Evan has cleft lip and palate...but he also may have some 'unknown issues' Not sure if they are really there, and if so, what they are. Shortly after we had or PA, I spoke with his foster care home. They were consulting with a geneticist in the USA about some testing. At that time, they were awaiting the results of all the testing they could do in Beijing. They were concerned he had "some type of syndrome." and that it was probably rare since they could not do any further testing there. More are recommended when he gets here to the States. However, this 'unknown' doesn't change much. Dare I say...it shouldn't either.
I admit, I was petrified, and a whole wave of fear and doubt took root in my heart. Thankfully, I knew where to find the best weed killer...my Bible and prayer.
God equips those He has called. Because Evan is the child He has called into our family, God will also equip us to meet his needs, just as He has equipped us to meet the needs of our other children.
If Evan had been missing an arm or a leg, he would have still been ours. In the Psalms it says, that we are ALL "Fearfully and wonderfully made." We were ALL knit together in our mothers' wombs. Some with cleft lip & palate, some with a few extra digits on there hands, some without a leg or arm, some just fine, but ALL are the handiwork of God. And ALL with special needs.
8 comments:
Amen to that, sister! Like you, my own "special needs" make my heart so tender toward others in the same predicament. That's one reason why I couldn't say "No" to a "heart baby". I know how defective my heart was when my Father adopted me! And I also love the FACT that because God has called these children into our families, He WILL equip us to handle their needs. What a mighty God we serve!!!
What a beautiful post! I was in tears by the end with your words about not knowing if Evan even had arms or legs when you first knew he was your son from that first photo. And that it didn't really matter. That IS such a heart of a mom. Oh it just brings so many thoughts and hopeful prayers for Samuel at ND and that God is preparing and equipping his special parents too. You have such a heart for God ... thank you so much for sharing it with us! Evan will be so blessed to share his life with you all :-)
Wow Molly!!...both you and Tara are on the same page with your posts today. What a WONDERFUL post! It so true that we all have a SN of our own, and God still adopted us into His family. It's great that you have always had an open heart to SN adoption. I wish I could say the same, but as you already know, that was not intially the case. Though I've grown up with SN in our extended family and in my school, I was never prejudice about them, but I also never considered SN for our family. That is until I truly gave it over to the Lord and asked Him to show me His will for our family and to change my heart if this was where He was leading us. And as you know, He did just that! I'm SO grateful, too. Because truth be known, if we ever decided to adopt again in the future, I can't imagine taking any other road. My heart has SO been opened to all the SN children who wait for a family of their own...and I'm just grateful that God 'fixed' my heart condition and opened it up to Special Needs. I can't even begin to imagine life without our Khloe now...and she isn't even home yet!! When He calls us, He equips us...and I'm SO glad that we followed His plan and not our own. Lord only knows where we would be if we hadn't.
I can't wait to see your sweet Evan HOME with you and in your arms. I know he is going to thrive in your loving arms. He's a beautiful little boy, and everytime I see that smile of his, my heart just MELTS!! I remember praying for a Christian family for him when he was so sick, and to see him now, you'd just never know he was the same child. And God more than answered prayers when He called your family to adopt Evan. You are the perfect fit and I'm so glad I've gotten to know you and the special family that Evan will come HOME to!!
Have a blessed weekend! <><
~Tanya
Beautiful post. You are absolutely right. We had a very similar experience when we first saw Sarah. We KNEW she was our daughter, and God made it known to us very clearly that we were her family.
I wasn't initially considering a SN adoption. In all honesty, I was really scared of the unknowns. But God prepared our hearts so when we saw Sarah, we KNEW, and were able to press forward in faith and gratitude.
I am so excited for you and for Evan!
Beautifully stated my friend!
Precious!
He is adorable.
Little Evan is always yours no matter what he has lost. Just as you said, it's the work of God. One note: He looks great and I could barely recognize his cleft lip.
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